Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything
- Downloads：1676
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-04-02 09:52:15
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Alexandra Carter
- ISBN：1982130490
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
An instant Wall Street Journal bestseller and “a joy to read” （Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen， authors of Difficult Conversations）， Ask for More shows that by asking better questions， you get better answers—and better results from any negotiation。
Negotiation is not a zero-sum game。 It’s an essential skill for your career that can also improve your closest relationships and your everyday life。 Still， people often shy away from it， feeling defeated before they’ve even started。 In this groundbreaking new book on negotiation， Alexandra Carter—Columbia law professor and mediation expert who has helped students， business professionals， the United Nations， and more—offers a straightforward accessible approach anyone can use to ask for and receive more。
We’ve been taught incorrectly that the loudest and most assertive voice prevails in any negotiation， or otherwise， both sides compromise， ending up with less。 Instead， Carter shows that you get far more value by asking the right questions of the person you’re negotiating with than you do from arguing with them。 She offers a simple yet powerful ten-question framework for successful negotiation where both sides emerge victorious。 Carter’s proven method extends far beyond one “yes” and instead creates value that lasts a lifetime。
Ask for More is “like having a negotiation coach in your corner” （Linda Babcock， author of Women Don’t Ask） and gives you the tools to bring clarity and perspective to any critical discussion， no matter the topic。
Negotiation is not a zero-sum game。 It’s an essential skill for your career that can also improve your closest relationships and your everyday life。 Still， people often shy away from it， feeling defeated before they’ve even started。 In this groundbreaking new book on negotiation， Alexandra Carter—Columbia law professor and mediation expert who has helped students， business professionals， the United Nations， and more—offers a straightforward accessible approach anyone can use to ask for and receive more。
We’ve been taught incorrectly that the loudest and most assertive voice prevails in any negotiation， or otherwise， both sides compromise， ending up with less。 Instead， Carter shows that you get far more value by asking the right questions of the person you’re negotiating with than you do from arguing with them。 She offers a simple yet powerful ten-question framework for successful negotiation where both sides emerge victorious。 Carter’s proven method extends far beyond one “yes” and instead creates value that lasts a lifetime。
Ask for More is “like having a negotiation coach in your corner” （Linda Babcock， author of Women Don’t Ask） and gives you the tools to bring clarity and perspective to any critical discussion， no matter the topic。
Reviews
Janell
，
Good book for anyone who has to deal with conflict resolution， coaching or guiding others through tough decisions。 As an HR practitioner， I can see using the methods in this book in various scenarios
Teri
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I found this a surprising read - accessible， enjoyable， relatable。 Got it to assist my daughter in her working career， read it with myself in mind after the first few paragraphs。 It provides a clear path and structure for just about any decision/negotiation one would want to take， and the focus of the first 5 questions on ME rather than the other person or institution was brilliantly presented。 I took this book out of the library， however have now received my own version because it will become a I found this a surprising read - accessible， enjoyable， relatable。 Got it to assist my daughter in her working career， read it with myself in mind after the first few paragraphs。 It provides a clear path and structure for just about any decision/negotiation one would want to take， and the focus of the first 5 questions on ME rather than the other person or institution was brilliantly presented。 I took this book out of the library， however have now received my own version because it will become a much used resource。 highly recommend it， and read with an open mind to where else it might apply outside of the usual job search or wage increase conversations。 。。。more
FERNANDO PAIZ
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Excellent book， must people will tell you to listen to other people， but listen to what？ If we do not learn to make good questions we devalue the listening effort！！
Sofia
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Ask for More introduces a clear and intuitive framework for negotiating your relationships and life。 It tends to repeat itself， but it's made up for in its easy-to-follow and empathetic approach。 Jim Collins talks about how life can be approached through either transactions or relationships; Delightfully， Carter is firmly in the relationships camp， offering a human-centric solution to navigating difficult conversations。 Instead of feeling manipulative， the approach leaves me feeling connected an Ask for More introduces a clear and intuitive framework for negotiating your relationships and life。 It tends to repeat itself， but it's made up for in its easy-to-follow and empathetic approach。 Jim Collins talks about how life can be approached through either transactions or relationships; Delightfully， Carter is firmly in the relationships camp， offering a human-centric solution to navigating difficult conversations。 Instead of feeling manipulative， the approach leaves me feeling connected and authentic。 。。。more
Mo Faul
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A wonderful book by an insightful author on how to plan， execute and win negotiations of all time-- it isn't winning for one it is winning for all！ A wonderful book by an insightful author on how to plan， execute and win negotiations of all time-- it isn't winning for one it is winning for all！ 。。。more
Steve Lim
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Simple and easy to read。 I am bad at asking good questions so I found this book enlightening and refreshing。 Definitely learned from the authors sharing and insights。
Karin
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Helpful techniques to evaluate your and your negotiators needs。 It wasn’t revolutionary advice， but good reminders nonetheless。
Brian
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Ask for More by Alexandra Carter breaks negotiation down into two areas through 10 questions and is a very thoughtful and engaging read on negotiation。 This book is aimed a bit at a self-improvement audience and how to make yourself a better negotiator。 She takes the wide view of negotiation beyond the traditional sense that most of us think。 This could include interaction with a spouse， neighbors， asking for a raise， etc。 and not just diplomats or the corporate boardroom。 The book is broken dow Ask for More by Alexandra Carter breaks negotiation down into two areas through 10 questions and is a very thoughtful and engaging read on negotiation。 This book is aimed a bit at a self-improvement audience and how to make yourself a better negotiator。 She takes the wide view of negotiation beyond the traditional sense that most of us think。 This could include interaction with a spouse， neighbors， asking for a raise， etc。 and not just diplomats or the corporate boardroom。 The book is broken down into two areas。 The first is knowing yourself and the second is knowing the person you are talking to。 The book breaks down five questions for each side1。tDefinition of the problem or goal2。tNeeds and what those look like 3。tFeelings and Concerns4。tPrevious Successes 5。tFirst StepsShe gives a serious of questions that help you define what it is you need in each of these areas and then what it is the other side might be looking for in these areas。 While some of it may seem like common sense feelings and pressure in the moment get in the way of implementing these and this book is a great reminder of strategies to help mitigate that risk。 It is a very quick read with anecdotes sprinkled throughout and practical examples that we can relate to （with a few cool UN stories thrown in）。 Overall a book that lots can benefit from and a quick read。 。。。more
Robin
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An unintuitive approach to negotiation， the author describes how to ask questions of yourself and others to improve negotiation tactics。 I originally thought I had nothing to immediately negotiate， but this book does a great job of showing how negotiation can be about our goals， relationships， etc。 I plan to try strategies in this book very soon and they don't seem intimidating。 May update to 5 stars if it actually works :） An unintuitive approach to negotiation， the author describes how to ask questions of yourself and others to improve negotiation tactics。 I originally thought I had nothing to immediately negotiate， but this book does a great job of showing how negotiation can be about our goals， relationships， etc。 I plan to try strategies in this book very soon and they don't seem intimidating。 May update to 5 stars if it actually works :） 。。。more
Brendan Brooks
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Reasonably solid resource， more of a guide and useful as that。 More than just for negotiations but for decision making as well。 More than for business and work， but for yourself， and your relationships as well。 Well structured and presented as a tool to put into use straight away。
Toni Rose Deanon
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Learned so much！！
Cynthia
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This book says it is about negotiation—but the central idea is that nearly every interaction is in fact a negotiation。 Very helpful tips for communicating in a variety of circumstances both personal and professional。
Alison
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SUPER interesting book that I would definitely recommend to anyone wanting to improve their negotiation or even just communication/interpersonal skills。 I liked the examples and case studies。 Just found it repetitive when it comes to the last part of each chapter （land the plane/enjoy the silence/follow up） as these steps were basically always the same。
Andrea
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I wouldn't recommend it。。。 It's a big meh。 Think through what you want， and how you feel。 Then talk to the person you're negotiating with。 Ask open ended questions。 "Land the plane" aka ask the question then shut up。 Don't thwart your open ended question by adding onto the end。 Think about how you've succeeded in this type of thing in the past。 Determine a first step。 Achieve success。 （then repeat for many many pages） I wouldn't recommend it。。。 It's a big meh。 Think through what you want， and how you feel。 Then talk to the person you're negotiating with。 Ask open ended questions。 "Land the plane" aka ask the question then shut up。 Don't thwart your open ended question by adding onto the end。 Think about how you've succeeded in this type of thing in the past。 Determine a first step。 Achieve success。 （then repeat for many many pages） 。。。more
Beautiful Minimal Millennial
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Great ideas but too much fluff in order to write a book。 Would have preferred a shorted more condense version。
David
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Read this book and then read it again。 Alexandra goes into what makes negotiation successful！ I highly recomend getting a separate note book to have while reading so that you can take notes。
Katie Minion
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I thought this book was great。 After you read this book， you'll have a good understanding of how to have better conversations， both at work and at home。 In a way， the title feels a bit too narrow。 When I think of "negotiations，" I think about formal discussions at work。 But like the book jacket says， this book covers all types of conversations， not just work-related ones。 You can use the lessons you learn in this book to help you have better conversations with your friends and family。 The techni I thought this book was great。 After you read this book， you'll have a good understanding of how to have better conversations， both at work and at home。 In a way， the title feels a bit too narrow。 When I think of "negotiations，" I think about formal discussions at work。 But like the book jacket says， this book covers all types of conversations， not just work-related ones。 You can use the lessons you learn in this book to help you have better conversations with your friends and family。 The techniques are pretty simple to understand， but it's nice to have someone so clearly lay out the things you should say。 In her book， she gave a lot of examples and sample scripts to help the reader understand the point she was making， and those examples really helped the lessons stick。 I ended up using some of the conversation techniques in a phone call I had a couple days ago with someone who wanted to do some work for me， and even though I need some practice， I felt more confident in the conversation thanks to these techniques。My only critique would be to have the summary of the 10 questions listed at the beginning of the book as well as at the end。 Self help books can feel a bit overwhelming when you're learning so much， and I got lost for a bit near the beginning until I realized what the outline really looked like。 There's a good summary at the end of the book （in chart form） that I'd suggest you glance at first before you start reading。 。。。more
Cornelia
，
Great book， for whatever you’re “negotiating” （even if it’s something internal）。 Full of great coaching， powerful questions， and really pleasurable to follow。
Candi
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I originally checked out the sample for this book。 It seemed interesting。 I feel like I’m not always outspoken so I could always use some additional communication skills。 I started listening to the first few chapters on Scribd and realized I just needed a hard copy to reference。 If you think this book is just for negotiating your salary， this is soooo much more！ Negotiating is a part of anything。 With your significant other。 With your kids。 With your coworkers。 With clients or patients。 The list I originally checked out the sample for this book。 It seemed interesting。 I feel like I’m not always outspoken so I could always use some additional communication skills。 I started listening to the first few chapters on Scribd and realized I just needed a hard copy to reference。 If you think this book is just for negotiating your salary， this is soooo much more！ Negotiating is a part of anything。 With your significant other。 With your kids。 With your coworkers。 With clients or patients。 The list is endless。 If you feel like you’re not good at negotiating， this book is for you。 Alexandra goes through difference uses of negotiating。 Her experience with mediation has helped her write this book。 It has so much real life application that it can apply to anyone！ I really enjoyed this book and excited to see how my first negotiation turns out。 This is a perfect book to gift someone！ 。。。more
Jaime Ellis
，
I wish there were words that could articulate the value that this book provides。 I’ve heard Alex speak， have taken her digital course and have read Ask For More twice。 It’s helped me recalibrate my approach to every conversation I have。 I’ve landed new business。 I’ve avoided conflicts with better communication。 I am empowered to take the lead on getting what I want without question。 I use her methods with my clients and I’ve gifted this book to at least 10 people。 Alex is the real deal and I hop I wish there were words that could articulate the value that this book provides。 I’ve heard Alex speak， have taken her digital course and have read Ask For More twice。 It’s helped me recalibrate my approach to every conversation I have。 I’ve landed new business。 I’ve avoided conflicts with better communication。 I am empowered to take the lead on getting what I want without question。 I use her methods with my clients and I’ve gifted this book to at least 10 people。 Alex is the real deal and I hope she continues writing and sharing her gifts。 。。。more
Sergey Machulskis
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The book will be super helpful to anybody who's new to negotiations。 It's a concise set of questions to ask yourself to prepare for a negotiation， and a mirrored set of questions to ask the other party。So it's actually "5 questions to negotiate anything"。The writing is good。 Not overly long， not super short。 It has inspiring examples， but not too many of them。 The book will be super helpful to anybody who's new to negotiations。 It's a concise set of questions to ask yourself to prepare for a negotiation， and a mirrored set of questions to ask the other party。So it's actually "5 questions to negotiate anything"。The writing is good。 Not overly long， not super short。 It has inspiring examples， but not too many of them。 。。。more
Jorge DeFlon
，
El libro esta bien escrito， bien redactado， y tiene buena tipografia。El framework de negociacion que describe claramente es sencillo， util， y practico。Incluso tiene algunos consejos sobre que hacer cuando no funciona。--------------------------------------------------------The book is well written， well edited， and has a good typography。 Something fundamental for love lovers。The negotiation framework proposed is clearly described， and is simple， useful， and pragmatic。She even includes some advice El libro esta bien escrito， bien redactado， y tiene buena tipografia。El framework de negociacion que describe claramente es sencillo， util， y practico。Incluso tiene algunos consejos sobre que hacer cuando no funciona。--------------------------------------------------------The book is well written， well edited， and has a good typography。 Something fundamental for love lovers。The negotiation framework proposed is clearly described， and is simple， useful， and pragmatic。She even includes some advice on what to do when it doesn't work out。 。。。more
Neil
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Skim for questions - from podcast
Peter Wills
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I think this is a helpful book that Alexandra Carter wrote。 Nothing unique will be found here - overarching theme of 1） Reverse engineer your goal in the negotiation， 2） Think about what the other side will need。 There are some deeper suggestions/details in the chapters， but must of the content can truly be found by reading the table of contents。
Kathy Cowie
，
When I was reviewing books for a management journal， I was not able to get this one into my schedule。 I wanted to read it anyway， which， honestly， is rare considering my giant TBR pile。 It was worth the time。 Carter offers simple straightforward guidance to make an often contentious process painless。 I especially appreciated the idea of asking the right questions to avoid so many pitfalls that lead to debate or argument。 This is the perfect book for anyone nervous about negotiation—from the offi When I was reviewing books for a management journal， I was not able to get this one into my schedule。 I wanted to read it anyway， which， honestly， is rare considering my giant TBR pile。 It was worth the time。 Carter offers simple straightforward guidance to make an often contentious process painless。 I especially appreciated the idea of asking the right questions to avoid so many pitfalls that lead to debate or argument。 This is the perfect book for anyone nervous about negotiation—from the office newbie to even the most jaded of us who think the decks are stacked against us。 。。。more
Prayson W。
，
Yet another golden book， in line with Never Split the Middle， that adds priceless ways and advice to intelligently navigate negotiations
Daniela D
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Ask for More is a clear and concise book。 It does exactly what it says， provides you a very reasonable and applicable set of questions you can ask yourself before going into a negotiation， and then ask your counterpart when you are negotiating。 Although the questions are relatively similar， there are variants in the way you can ask them， and Carter explains this brilliantly - both - with stories and examples of how to construct and phrase the question itself， which I found invaluable！ Although t Ask for More is a clear and concise book。 It does exactly what it says， provides you a very reasonable and applicable set of questions you can ask yourself before going into a negotiation， and then ask your counterpart when you are negotiating。 Although the questions are relatively similar， there are variants in the way you can ask them， and Carter explains this brilliantly - both - with stories and examples of how to construct and phrase the question itself， which I found invaluable！ Although these questions may seem common sense， there were plenty of a-ha！ moments for me and I am definitely going to apply these in practice。 The main concern though， which Carter also acknowledges at the end of the book is the fact that these questions are helpful only when both parties enter the conversation with a hope to solve the issue， or as she says "in good faith"。 If you are dealing with a manipulator， nothing can help。 And just like her， I wish everyone uses this techniques and the world does become a better place！ 。。。more
Russell
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A book on expanding what it means to negotiate effectively， the biggest takeaway from Ask for More for me personally is: In order to know how to negotiate， you must first deeply understand yourself， and then deeply understand your fellow negotiator。 Only then can your/their proposal be rooted in what you both care about， and thus be successful。• The method， models， and philosophy of how Alexandra Carter approaches negotiation is powerful and refreshing• The personal stories were touching， and I A book on expanding what it means to negotiate effectively， the biggest takeaway from Ask for More for me personally is: In order to know how to negotiate， you must first deeply understand yourself， and then deeply understand your fellow negotiator。 Only then can your/their proposal be rooted in what you both care about， and thus be successful。• The method， models， and philosophy of how Alexandra Carter approaches negotiation is powerful and refreshing• The personal stories were touching， and I enjoyed them， but at times it felt like there was more emphasis on the stories than on the method being taught• Huge kudos to the author for doing a bang-on job reading the book• The book can be a bit repetitive at times， especially to one taking notes， but at the same time， it does a great job of embedding the ideas into your brain。 I’ll be using these ideas for future discussions and negotiations in the future。 。。。more
Lynne
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This is a solid 4 1/2 star book。 I learned skills that will help my professional life and my private relationships。 Invaluable tips throughout。
Kat
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